Why must revelation come in waves? No sooner is a thing written, than a new truth, be it recollection, be it revelation, springs forth.
I realize that I have not lost being with you, I have never been with you. We made love, but do you realize the man you are sleeping with wakes up where I never did, in your bed! He wakes up to your breath, to your body, to your bedroom, to your kids leaping up on to the comforter? Does he wear pajamas? Does he help get the children ready for school? Does he fix breakfast? Does he do all these things when you stay in his home?
Yes, I stayed the night several times, but only to protect you from your ex-husband. Once even to awaken to his body looming over mine in the dark and to grapple with him, and send him away. I have never shared your bed as your lover, never as your lover. Never as a man you thought to tell the children, to explain to them about your needs.
Good god, I am the interloper! I have it all wrong, don’t I. I think of having be married to you, when you have never even thought of it, have you? Did you think of me as your ex, your ex boyfriend, ex boss, ex man? It’s all to much to think about.
I am “clouds in your coffee,” thank you, Carol King, I know of what you were singing now.
Wow, I feel a little foolish; I’ve been dreaming a little dream of you, “dream a little dream of me” too? Wish you were the “Mama of the Mamas and me the Papa of the Papas” Well, not Mama Cass, but Michele Phillips…you and she have in turn been my dream girls!
I can see clearly now. (thanks, Johnny Nash) Is it possible that I was never real to you, just a fairy tale champion jousting at your dragons? Don’t think I’m complaining, you are a lady fair and I would wear your colors. call me Sir Lancelot, Lady Genvieve. Call me adulterer and muscle and oh yes, old number seven! I just flashed! Now the rain is gone, “who”ll stop the rain” is a great movie, Nick Nolte, and of course, the song by CCR, that’s Creedence Clearwater Revival
He’s lucky beyond believe. I hope he treasure’s you as I do, Hell, how could he not.
Is it time yet?
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
Am I fated as James Blunt sings in the last stanza:
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
Is it time? Please say no…