On the Occasion of Jimmy Fallon and Russell Crowe Covering “Folsom Prison Blues,” The Tonight Show, March 27, 2014

And She wrote:

Smokin’!!!

And I wrote:

Seriously? I watched the show, Russell Crowe has lost it. What a hachet job on Johnny Cash’s song. Aside from the fact that Crowe’s  “got no soul,” he’s  “got no pipes” either. The clips of him as an Aussie “Wanna Bee” singer were far more melodic; at least as a youth, he could carry a tune. His boyish good looks have abandoned him as well, what’s to like, girls? But then I’m not gay, amused maybe, but not gay; he looks like a pudgy no neck two punch fighter… ah, the vainglory of the cinema! Seriously, listen to Johnny Cash’s original cut, and then have a good laugh. Oh, and what’s with Jimmy Fallon falling all over himself, hasn’t he ever seen a movie star? Creepy,  fawning,  foolish… can you imagine Jack Parr, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno acting such a star struck fool? I’m tuning in Jimmy Kimmel, or maybe I’ll drink me some Ponce de Leon Koolaide and watch a little South Carolina Stephen Colbert.

And She wrote:

Ha-ha! Haven’t enjoyed a Bull rant in so long! Yes, I agree with you on much of what you say. But for me it’s always fun to see an “A” list guy cross over (or even try) – like Kevin Bacon a couple of nights ago. And Fallon I enjoy because, like them, he crosses over and makes music with them! And dances with them! Leno and Carson were comedians and entertained with their humor and their interviewing skills. But this guy is multi-talented, and is having so much fun with his guests. I love it!

And I wrote:

I’m pleasantly pleased to have been missed… So, as I understand it, you enjoy watching men make fools of themselves, and indulging in infantile behavior. I think Fallon needs, I really do mean “Needs,” an award, maybe this year’s Sally Fields’ “You really do love me” Best in Class Blue Ribbon Award…  He could place it on his mantle among his numerous Soccer awards… “Awarded to All the Members of the1981 Saugerties, New York Neighborhood Soccer Youth Commune Team for being such Good Sports having allowed all other teams to Outscore you this Season.” Actually, the plaque is too small for all that text, it actually reads: “You are not a Loser!”

Good Lord, I’ve got it!  He really wants to win the next “Jerry Lewis Humanitarian Award!”

Now, I’m even missing David Frost and, dare I say, Dick Cavett? Where once Bill Buckley and Gore Vidal crossed words and grammar in fits of cerebral prestidigitation that sated even a novice polymath such as myself, we are now treated to the multi-mathless playing together nicely in the sandbox. Surely no one can doubt the caustic and deleterious effect of listening and performing “Hard Rock” music on the maturation of the Prefrontal Cortex. Call it anything but symphonic, call it the scourge of modernity, the solipsistic autism of society, millions of minds bobbing together in disharmony like loose apples in a bucket of electrically amplified plasma, and having fun, fun, fun, ’cause there’s no Beach Boys’ “Daddy to take the T-Bird away.”

Immortalized puberty, institutionalized adolescence, perpetual arrhythmic perturbation,; this rant is brought to you by Harvard’s and The National’s Lampoon, and by that agnostic little Seth MacFarlane fellow, and by Lorne Michaels and even by sweet little Jimmy Fallon, all of whom laugh as they trudge to the gallows.

Lutwidge Dodgson, presciently, permanently post pubescent, was quite right, why grow up when it so hurts the brain, better to stay down the rabbit hole:

One pill makes you larger

And one pill makes you small

And the ones that mother gives you

Don’t do anything at all…

And now, dear Grace Slick, after fifty years of the “Great Society” (you are a maestro and a genius, and I loved you, and Sandoz Pharmaceuticals, at The Fillmore), and fifty years of “Entitlements” and fifty years of “Progressive Public Education” you don’t need any pill at all…

With many thanks to “She” – E.R.D.

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The Forty Days of Lent

Ash Wednesday is not my favorite day. Lent is certainly not my favorite Liturgical season. I don’t especially like the color purple. I never liked wearing purple vestments. The color purple was the color of the Caesars, of Imperial Rome. Jesus never wore purple, not that I know that personally, but purple dye was used only by those in the Antipater family, and was quite expense. Jesus would never have spent money on such a luxury. And Liturgical Purple is so dreary and boring!

And I don’t like that Lent lasts Forty Days, and that G-d sent Rain for Forty Days to cover the earth with water (Gen: 7:12) and that Moses spent Forty days and Forty Nights on top of a mountain, without food and water, and I hate that Jesus went Forty days fasting (Mat: 4:2), and rose from the dead and was with them in Sion for Forty Days. I mean, what is with Forty Days? A moon month is usually Twenty Eight Days, why not that? What period of time does the Forty days refer to, what is the meaning, numerologically? No, I don’t hold with the study of numbers as codes in the Bible, perhaps there is truth to be found there, but I simply seek the meaning of God’s Word in my life, and I find no symbolism in the period of Forty Days. If any of you have a grasp of its meaning, please, see me after this service.

And I really get tired having to think of something to give up for Lent; I mean, what does it mean to give up something today? Hey, back in the day, when bread, porridge, a root or two and water were the usual menu selections, giving “up” something was kind of special. Now, if I give up chocolate, does that mean Nestles, Hershey’s, Godiva? If I give up coca-cola, can I have a Pepsi? If I give up something that I find hard to do, like working-out, or enjoyable, like reading the NY Times on Sunday mornings, does that mean I can’t watch David Gregory on Meet the Press or Chris Wallace on Fox news Sunday?

And the Liturgy, “A Penitential Office for Ash Wednesday” right there on page 60 of my pew copy of the 1928 “Book of Common Prayer,” what a downer, starts with “Have mercy on me.” Do I really want to read it aloud before Morning and Evening Prayer for Forty Days, that is depressing! And I so much love offering Holy Communion; it lifts up my spirit and fills me with joy, and reading that Penitential Office, kneeling, before the Collect, is a real buzz killer.

It’s easy to see why so many shepherds fail to lead their flock in saying the Penitential Office aloud; Lent can drive people out of Church!  Of course, they will all be back for Easter! I once wanted to place those large straw baskets, the one’s like in the fishes and loaves verses, before the Altar, and then have all the parishioners bring in the things they had given up and fill those baskets through-out Lent; but the Rector said, and I had to agree, doing so would block the Processional, and really, it was said: “Giving things up for Lent, that’s like New Year’s resolutions, who keeps them?”

“Still,” I said, “it’s only Forty Days…there’s that “Forty” again… It’s not like a whole year.”  The Rector may have been right, most people give up something…not “some things” and the baskets would look foolish empty. “People give up watching their favorite show on TV, or only play nine holes, every other week-end, or give-up fried foods, say, fried chicken or french fries. How would those things fill the baskets?”

Of course, the Rector, a future Bishop, was right. Yet another reason why I don’t like Lent.  It’s stupid to give up something that you can do without, or that is, at worst, a minor inconvenience. Jesus, the Son of Man, gave up food and water for Forty Days, and Moses, just a man, did the same for Forty Days! How is giving up “Gilligan’s Island” five or six times a sacrifice?

Nope, Lent is a loser. It’s an anachronism; a vestige of the piety of the “Dark Ages;” no one really “gives up” anything of value, not in this day and age. Most Christians don’t even regularly  give their tithe, “giving up” ten percent of their income, and G-d commands us to do that. Funny, they will tip a waitress ten percent for good service, but tip G-d the same ten percent for absolutely everything, including their existence, their very life? No way, Jose!

I think it’s pretty clear why I don’t “get” Lent. What’s the point of it? Have you really ever thought about it, about the “Why” of Lent? Like most of the “Flock” I run around with, I broke my “crook” long ago and joined the crowd. I am not sure I really need Lent, or that it serves any good purpose. After all, so many fellow sheaves tell me:  “G-d is Love, G-d…is…Love, see it says so right here in the Bible, and right there. We are all going to Heaven when we die …”Jesus loves us, this I know”… ”  What could be better than that, and we do such good works, with our food pantries, and food stamps, and clothing drives, and Diversity… we even have lesbian women priests, and gay men priests, and gay Bishops, …and soon a lesbian Bishop… we just need to be good to each other, and it will all be okay… Oh, oh, and work for fairness and justice, that’s what the Church should do, and G-d loves us all.”

Who needs Lent anymore?

True, during Lent we do get to wear fancy purple vestments, trimmed in gold, almost every day.  Maybe that’s not such a bad thing, and the chanting is soothing, and the wafting incense and flickering candlelight make us all fell closer to the Divine.  Still, I just can’t get in the spirit of it.

Nope, truth is, I really don’t like Lent at all, but not really for the reasons I have mentioned, though I admit I often, especially today, think about such things.

Actually, I don’t dislike Lent at all, I Hate it!!!

because…

Jesus died for me! He died because of me, He died for my sins.

Every day of Lent, I am reminded so.

No way am I worth His sacrifice that longest of all days, from the Mount of Olives to the three hours hanging from a tree! How can He love us so?

Forgive me Father, forgive me for His sake, have mercy, have mercy on me,

Have mercy on us all…  + + +

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Get Ready for It! “A Nation of Immigrants”

Stop drinking the Euro-American Koolaid. We are not a “Nation of Immigrants.”

We are a Nation that allowed and encouraged immigration, primarily to fill the vast empty areas of territory ceded us by France and Spain for a fee, and taken by us in war from Mexico.  When my direct ancestors, 20 or so generations ago, arrived on the North Atlantic seashore of the New World, there were no “nations” to immigrate to… No governments, no borders, no customs offices, no infrastructure, no police, no armies, no semblance of ordered habitation other than the presence of earlier “migrants” whose Paleolithic culture had, for at least 13 Millennium, failed to develop anything beyond the most rudimentary and primitive societal structure. The clans inhabiting portions of what became the English Colonies were not, even by anthropological standards, accurately called “tribes;”  certainly not in the sense that the various “tribal” cultures of Africa were then and are still distinctly identified as  homogenous societies. The “romantic” term applied “Indian Tribes” was and is inaccurate on two counts; they were neither inhabitants of India nor were they highly hierarchically organized “Tribes” of people. Rather they were small groups of loosely organized, matriarchal, and blood related “Clans” just as were our ancestors, prehistoric European inhabitants.

The notion that the population of the New World exceeded one-hundred million inhabitants, as is often posited in the work of dewy eyed Euro-American academics, is preposterous. Without agriculture, societies are limited to a hunter-gatherer culture, and restricted, by food supplies, to sustenance existence.  It is unlikely that in the entire Continent of North America, an enormous area, at the time of European settlement, more than several million natives could be found

My ancestors, on my mother’s side “Migrated” from England, in fact, it is estimated that ninety percent of all migrants to the newly established colonies were from the British Isles, and ninety-nine percent of them were Protestants. Migrants and immigrants are terms which define two very different movements by populations. Migrants colonize essentially uninhabited territory, such movements are most often the result of population pressures, scarcity of opportunity for increased food production, and in the case of the English migration to the New World, as a means of enjoying greater religious and political freedom and acknowledgement of individual accomplishment and self-worth.

I point this out to ensure that all present Americans understand that the very Founding Fathers and the Documents of Independence and Governance so often quoted and generally revered, even by Euro-Americans, were thought of and written by subjects of the English crown, Colonists whose cultural and political expression, over 160 years, reflected the heritage of “free men” and a unique culture of “individual accomplishment as well as the evolution of the “Rule of Law” from the time of the Magna Carta to the imposition of the Stamp Act to the U. S. Constitution.

 

My colonial ancestors did not “invade” or “overthrow” or even, in rawest terms, “seize” territory from any nation- state; rather, they, by force of their will, and their sweat and sacrifice, and by the Blessing of God Almighty, created a “Nation” out of the vast continental wilderness. They had in large part, I might add, no desire or intention of doing harm to the indigenous clans who thousands of years earlier migrated across a land bridge from Asia, and by degrees, and over eons, slowly crossed the North American Continent, and, for what ever reason, never advanced culturally beyond their initial Paleolithic, “stone age” state of human development. It should be noted that the original armed conflicts, in the North, in Plymouth Colony, originated from the Wampanoag clans, and in the South, in Virginia, by massacres of English settlers and townspeople by the Powhatan clans. They struck first, and often, and inflicted up to Eighty Percent Casualties on the men, women and children of early colonial settlements. It might well be noted that had “nations” or “organized native militias” or any other form of organized, unified resistance, other than the savage marauding bands of clansmen intent on the annihilation of the settlers existed,  if any local, regional or even, dare I say, tribal government existed, anywhere in the territory organized as the 13 Original English Colonies, our ancestors would have been pushed back into the Atlantic Ocean. These Asiatic clans may have been first to migrate to North America, but they were easily supplanted as the dominant culture by the migration of a more intelligent, adaptive and diligent culture, our English ancestors.

At the conclusion of the Revolutionary War, given the vast tracts of unsettled and unpopulated land, (even Georgia stretched from the Atlantic Ocean to the Mississippi River), and given the deep desire by the erstwhile colonists to share God’s bounty as well as populate and provision the vast area beyond the Appalachians, to prevent French and Spanish Papist as well as English Crown intrusion, our National Government encouraged the “immigration” of non English Europeans as well as allowing the “importation” of Africans. Today, those Americans who are descended from post-colonial immigrants may proudly claim that they are fully American in citizenship and opportunity, just as was the case with their first European “immigrant” ancestors. This, unfortunately, was not the case with the Africans imported as property.

It is unfortunate, however, that so many of the European immigrants brought with them the patterns of European Culturalization and theories of economic policy and socialist polity which so dominate their Euro-American descendents. Add to that the African influenced tribal culture and behavioral primitivism which dominates Afro-American culture and it is easy to understand the impending demise of the culture and polity of the Founding Fathers.

Socialism, communism, consumerism, communalism, egregious materialism, atheism, agnosticism, the intense need of societal approval and the criticism and condemnation of individual initiative and responsibility, all these societal corruptions are the manifest result of European “Immigration” and immigrants. None of these words were or are held dear by those hold, as divinely inspired,  the great achievements of the English adventurers and settlers, Colonists, “migrants” to the New World, and the great documents their progeny wrote and then by sacrifice brought to life, which have sustained the freedom and liberty not only of their descendents, but the freedom of the successive waves of immigrants, even those who now work so assiduously to destroy those very rights for which so much blood and treasure has been shed, and replace our Federal Republic with a “Modern European Socialist Democracy.”

 

 

 

 

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